I came to S-Anon a very short time before moving to a new city with my partner. It was a well-timed gift. When I first started attending meetings, my goal was to learn how to live with a sexaholic on a daily basis. Learning to live life in the present, and “doing the next right thing” with the help of my Higher Power, were a real help to me. Coming to see my own level of denial about many aspects of my life was painful, but it was helpful to understand that I am a work in progress. Meeting such wonderful friends in this program really helped me become acclimated to my new hometown and to my new “eyes open” way of life. A few months after beginning the program, I attended my first local S-Anon convention. It was a wonderful event and I returned home with a serene recovery boost. I found I needed it, because the next week I discovered my partner had relapsed. I was shocked and disappointed. Thankfully, I had my convention “booster shot.” I was prepared with recovery tools and the reinforced knowledge that his relapse was not my fault and I could not work his program for him. While it was not an easy time for me, I was so grateful I had this program and my wonderful fellow S-Anon members to help me through it with new-found serenity.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 162.

Step Twelve: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” Step Twelve has truly become a way of life for me. When I become upset or disturbed, my sponsor directs me back to the Steps. I start with Step One, and work as many Steps as needed, until I can see what has brought me to the place of discomfort. At some point I am able to see my part and what I need to do differently. When I am connected to my Higher Power, I can be an extension of God’s love and compassion toward myself and others. The love I feel flowing through me today has replaced my roller coaster days of impulsively reacting and feeling that sickening fear in the pit of my stomach. Allowing God to work through me is a result of practicing the spiritual principles of S-Anon in my life every day. Today I try to remember that the Steps are the most valuable gift I have been given. They are the road map to guide me as I face and deal with whatever life brings. They lead me back to God, love, and acceptance every time.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 46.

The Traditions can apply to my everyday life in very simple ways also. Here’s my interpretation:

Tradition One taught me to stick with the group that helped me to get better. Preserve the union that was really formed by God through other people.

Tradition Two — Keep God in the process of all our group business. He is the head and the S-Anon members are the body of our groups.

Tradition Three — I need to welcome and help all that qualify, if they seek it.

Tradition Four — Be myself. Give my brand of recovery to those who are attracted. Speak my mind in group conscience. Remember that “It takes a village…”

Tradition Five – Keep our primary purpose in mind during all our group dealings ( financial etc…)

Tradition Six — Don’t be controlling with others, even covertly—study ways this occurs. (more…)

Early in my S-Anon recovery I was comfortable and enjoyed doing service work for my home group. But I learned the most about myself and took my recovery to new levels when I did service work beyond my group. I came to recognize and develop talents I didn’t even know I had. This brought up some of my faulty thinking. I had grown up hearing old slogans/tapes: You can do that, if you just try harder; I know you will not let the family down; Do you think you are better than the others? Is your time more valuable? No excuses; You are being lazy; Can’t you do what is expected of you? and so on. In my S-Anon recovery I have heard and learned new slogans that promote gentleness and self-care. Through S-Anon service work, I have learned that it is absolutely my job, and my job alone, to look after and care for myself by setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. I’ve learned to respectfully say what I mean and mean what I say. I have the courage to say no when necessary. I am very grateful for the opportunity to do this service work; I learn more about myself in the process, and give myself the gift of a more balanced life. Today I am grateful for a whole set of new slogans (such as: Easy Does It; Keep It Simple; One Day at a Time; H.A.L.T.; Live and Let Live) and the S-Anon program. My Higher Power continues to provide me with opportunities to learn and grow in my service work beyond my local group.

Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, pages 106-107.