Using the Tools of the Program

Many of us found that before we could begin to use the tools of S-Anon, we had to let go of, or at least loosen our grip, on the “old tools” that may have helped us survive but simply did not work well anymore. The old tools may have included denial, obsession with the sexaholic, covering up the problem, isolation, rage, and manipulation. In letting go of the old tools, we were able to try new, more effective ways to aid us in recovery. While letting go was at times frightening, we saw that it was the only way to achieve the serenity we longed to have.

“We let go of the problem, the need to know what will happen and when, the obsession with other people’s choices, the thoughts and concerns that waste our time and energy because we cannot resolve them by ourselves. And we let God take care of them.” [How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, p. 76]

Each member uses the tools that work best for him or her, and we have even found that some things that did not work for us in early recovery become mainstays of our program later on. We use what helps us today and leave the rest for later. We urge you to give serious consideration to how you can use some of these tools to help your recovery from the effects of sexaholism since these tools have been indispensable to our recovery.

Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, pages 1-2.