We used to think we could only trust ourselves, and most of us have plenty of good reasons to have developed that philosophy. But in our current attempts to live in healthy adult relationships, we are beginning to see that our old philosophies are no longer effective. They aren’t making us happy. We had been certain that our own intelligence, backed by strong will power, was the only way to control our lives. At one time it seemed like a wise policy, but it didn’t pay off. We tried to play God in our own lives, with disastrous results.

We were driven to S-Anon by that near-destruction at our own hands. Self-will ran riot in our lives. Now we admit defeat, and in S-Anon we begin to acquire the faith to recover. We learn we need not face our problems alone. Instead, we learn to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.

“…God as we understood Him” is an important part of Step Three. Many of us who have taken this Step certainly didn’t understand very much about God in the beginning. But as we were willing to make this leap of faith, we began to believe in a God who is loving, forgiving and encouraging to us. We felt free to shed old concepts of God that made us feel “apart from” or unworthy, and we began to understand new and hopeful spiritual concepts.

As we continue to see aspects of self-will emerge, we further realize the futility of our attempts to run our own lives. We see that the myth of self-sufficiency is full of pride and that it leaves us feeling isolated and lonely. When we surrender to God, we connect with a Higher Power and become whole persons.

Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 27-28.


 August 8, 2021

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