Living with an Active Sexaholic… I have asked myself so many questions: What does it mean that I am still living with an active sex addict? Have I just not recovered enough to separate? What are the underlying effects on our children? What are my “bottom lines?” When I finish asking myself the questions that have yet to be answered, I come back to the reality of the First Step: I am powerless over sexaholism, and my life becomes unmanageable when I try to manage the lives of others. What about self-deception? Am I crazy to be living with an active sexaholic, given the progressive nature of his disease? Today I believe that no plan of my own could have given me the willingness to change and mend my ways. I know more will be revealed to me as I continue to rely on my Higher Power and work the S-Anon program. The peace I have today is a gift from my Higher Power. I am so sure of God’s love that I can leave my concerns in his hands, knowing that I and those I love will be provided for “one day at a time.” I believe that God will not leave me without a way out, even when I mistakenly interpret His will or my place in a situation. As long as I am willing to accept where I am, honestly, and be open to his help, it is easy to make the next decision to trust God and turn my life over to his care.
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 73.