When I lead a newcomer’s meeting, I share that I am grateful to be married to a recovering sexaholic. I tell them that I am not being sarcastic or trying to diminish the pain they are experiencing. Rather, my gratitude arises out of my awareness that sexaholism brought me to S-Anon which has given me many gifts.
One of these gifts is a relationship with myself. Before S-Anon, I acted how I thought others wanted me to act. I would change my opinion on a topic to avoid another person’s anger. In recovery, I came to think of my pre-recovery persona as “the chameleon-velcro woman” – stick to whomever and mimic them. Through S-Anon I have discovered who I am and have developed the courage to be myself, regardless of what others think or say. What a gift to truly like myself today!
Another gift has been learning to take the focus off my husband and put it onto myself. For years I tried to change my husband and got nothing but frustration. Coming to S-Anon has allowed me to enjoy him for the person he is.
Discovering I was married to a sexaholic was my worst nightmare. S-Anon has given me the gift of a better life. For that I am truly grateful.
Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 269.