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Before coming to S-Anon, I didn’t really know what a boundary was. I tended to share my whole life story with people I met, not waiting to see if they were trustworthy or even interested. That characteristic was still with me when I came to S-Anon, so I just started sharing a “new chapter” with people.
Looking back I can see now how inappropriate much of my sharing was. I often broke my husband’s anonymity and told graphic and unnecessary details about his behavior and mine. I indiscriminately disclosed details to friends and family members because I thought the information could “help” them. I feel that sharing my story – however imperfectly – truly has helped me come a long way in recovery. I’ve come to understand what boundaries are and why it’s important to have them. I’ve learned to tell my story selectively, and to only tell details as appropriate. In fact, now I usually speak in general terms because that is often enough. It has definitely been “progress, not perfection,” though, as I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way . [Excerpt from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Ed., p. 95-96]
Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 44.