God Provides for Me – Just in Time

God Provides for Me – Just in Time

 December 2, 2019

There is a concept in business called “Just In Time” manufacturing. The idea is to save money and increase efficiency by receiving raw materials “just in time” to be manufactured, rather than expensively storing them at the factory until they are needed.

It occurred to me one day that my experience with God is quite similar to this “just in time” concept. I used to face challenging situations feeling empty-handed and unequipped. Through working the Steps and practicing using the many tools of the program, I have come to see that when it is the right time to act, my Higher Power supplies just what I need in each situation. This happens when I ask for clarity to make healthy decisions, when I need an answer or an opportunity to be revealed, when I stay open to new ideas for help regarding my finances, and when I am in need of a program phone call. Sometimes the provision of what I need comes without me even realizing I needed it. God provides for me “just in time.”

Through many years of having these “just in time” experiences, I have learned that I can trust my Higher Power to supply whatever I truly need when the time is right. Today I don’t have to see the resources up front to know that they will be there “just in time.”

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 350.

Recovery Through Conventions

 November 18, 2019

S-Anon International conventions have become a wonderful life-line for me. When I actively participate at a convention, I get a boost in my own recovery by being with other S-Anon members.  Conventions are where I hear other stories like my personal story. I am reminded that I am not alone.  These gatherings have been a very healing experience and have helped me grow spiritually in all my relationships: Higher Power, spouse, family, and friends. The International S-Anon conventions have become so important to me that I plan my vacations around them.

Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 5.


Note The next S-Anon International Convention is January 17-19, 2020, in Nashville, TN.  We invite you to join the S-Anon International Family Groups as we share our experience, strength and hope with one another through our Sounds of Healing weekend convention!  This convention is for members of S-Anon and S-Ateen only (i.e., those who have been affected by another person’s sexaholism).


It Works if you Work It

 November 4, 2019

A slogan that I’d like to write about is “It works if you work it.” I love this slogan today but I used to find it abrasive! When I first entered S-Anon, I had difficulty with the hand-holding circle at the close of the meeting and chanting “It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!” It felt like an implied requirement for “elite” membership and it was wrapped in a touchy-feely sentiment. Since I had not experienced much safe touch in my life, I certainly didn’t want to be touched by strangers. It was part of my isolation…

I needed something pragmatic to hold onto, I needed answers to questions like, “What did/does it mean to “work it?” What does it mean for me to be “worth it?” “Working it,” for me, means (I should let you know up front that I didn’t do all of this at once) that I show up to the meetings every time it is possible and that I share what worked for me with those who are still suffering. I read the Keys to S-Anon Recovery and The S-Anon Problem and study them. I buy the S-Anon literature and I read it as a part of my daily gift to myself. I cooperate with the standards the Traditions set for my group behavior (begrudgingly at first; with great admiration and respect today). I follow the meeting guidelines. I came out of isolation by calling people from the local meetings and in other cities and by attending fellowship activities. I have sought out sponsorship and committed to being open to guidance. I give back by doing service for the fellowship. I started and completed the Steps several times — most powerfully in a Step study with others from my group. My need for this work is profound and ongoing. I started and completed a Tradition study, and I study a Tradition every month. I started and completed a Concept of Service study, and I study one Concept a month. I attend conventions when I can afford them. When I am triggered I practice exquisite self-care and make restorative phone calls. I got a God Box and I use it. I fired myself as my own Higher Power and experimented with a real one. That experimentation led to a deep relationship with the God of my understanding that can and does restore me to sanity when I reach for it. I reach for it. Reaching for it means I prayerfully spend time in the world of my Higher Power — in parks, on walks, with God’s other creatures, and with my face to the wind and the sun. It means I practice gratitude. It means I surrender having to be right. It means I show up, suit up, and take guidance. It means I put effort into something I believe in. It took me time to believe in it, but because it worked (almost immediately), I grew in belief. Now I enjoy spending time, every day, spiritually centering and surrendering my will. I actively listen for God in the world, the literature, and the people around me.

Reprinted from the Fall 2010 issue of S-Anews©.

Trusting a Higher Power of My Understanding

 October 21, 2019

I once thought my marriage was a failure, and that I could never again trust my husband to remain faithful to me. For years, I had believed my husband’s primary goal should be to please me. Now, with some years of S-Anon recovery behind me, I pray that my husband works to please his Higher Power.

While my husband is sexually sober today, the reality is he is still a sexaholic and he could choose his sexaholism over recovery. That used to cause me a lot of fear, but S-Anon has shown me that I don’t have to be fearful as long as I place my trust in my Higher Power rather than my husband. My experience has shown me that I can trust God to give me what I need to face each day with serenity, courage, and wisdom.

God stands at the door and waits for me. If I am willing to ask for help, He will give it perfectly. I don’t need to check up on God or evaluate His plan. I simply trust in God’s wisdom, and I experience the serenity that comes from His love.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 225.

Daily Surrender

 October 8, 2019

Over the past few years, while working the Twelve Steps of S-Anon, I have come to see that the bedrock of my recovery is my Higher Power. On the foundation of this trust, I have laid brick after brick of daily surrender. Knowing that I have a Power higher than myself gives me Someone to turn to, who knows what I don’t know, and can do what I can’t do. Higher Power is empowering me to recover in ways that I know would otherwise be impossible. I am learning to detach from others and focus on connecting with the God of my understanding. I am learning to turn over my fears about the future, and believe that Higher Power is in control. I am learning to replace a sense of inadequacy with the truth: I am precious and valuable to my Higher Power, and no one can diminish my worth.

Reprinted from the Fall 2010 issue of S-Anews©.

The Key to Step Three

 September 23, 2019

We learned to depend upon a real Higher Power—one with the strength and wisdom to help us in times of need and indecision. Anyone can begin to tap into this source; the key to Step Three was the willingness to allow a Higher Power to take a hand in our lives.

Some of us did not have any concept of God when we first came to S-Anon. Some of us had leaned heavily on other people, or tried to please them without regard for our own well-being, in effect making another person (especially the sexaholics in our lives) into a “Higher Power.” Many of us were angry or uncomfortable with the concept of God that we had learned early in our lives. But as we shed old ideas that made us feel isolated or unworthy, we began to understand new and hopeful spiritual concepts. We grew in the faith that a loving and caring Higher Power would guide and protect us. Then we were able to make a decision to trust in that care and seek to do God’s will instead of our own.

Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 24.

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