The Power of Healthy Choices


 April 20, 2020

Long before joining S-Anon, isolation was a way of life for me. Isolating myself from others perpetuated my magical thinking that maybe things would get better at home. Consequently, I did not face my fears and take responsibility for my choices. Isolation and ignoring the effects of living with sexaholism enabled me to hide from the reality of my life and the unproductive way I was parenting my daughter. Isolation had become an unhealthy habit.

S-Anon gave me back the power of healthy choices. Now I can choose to reach out by calling my sponsor regularly, and I encourage my sponsees to do the same. I volunteer for service at meetings, which gives me that extra nudge to show up and break my isolation. There are other options too. I can have the World Service Office put me in contact with S-Anons in other communities. I can attend S-Anon Conventions, where I am reminded that my local group and I are connected to a bigger fellowship. Writing a daily Tenth Step increases my awareness of what is happening inside me, and helps clear up little misunderstandings that motivate my isolation. I can use the slogans: “This Too Shall Pass” and “How Important Is It?”

Most importantly, I can ask my Higher Power for help when I wake up and remember to say “Thank you” to God before I fall asleep. Isolating complicates my life. Choosing to stay out of isolation through working my program helps me “Keep It Simple.”

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 105.

Good Enough


 April 6, 2020

After working the S-Anon program for some time, I realized my fear of abandonment had influenced my attitudes and actions my entire life. My father died when I was very young. This was clearly the root of why I continued to expect to be abandoned in relationships. All the changes, challenges, and wounds after my father’s death reinforced my fear that I wasn’t good enough.

This affected my life in a number of ways. The men I chose for serious relationships turned out to be either incapable of commitment or emotionally unavailable. It was as though I unconsciously set myself up for repeated abandonment. Another example was my faith. While I believed that God loved me and would always be with me, there was a disconnection between what my head knew and what my heart felt. It wasn’t until I had the very down-to-earth, practical experience of working this program that I came fully to trust God – for the past, the present, and the future.

Working the S-Anon program has taught me a new lesson: I will never be abandoned by God – the one who loves me the most and considers me definitely good enough.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 170.

Serenity


 March 23, 2020

Saturated with unmanageability

I desperately longed for control

Endless attempts to fix and use

Eventually took their toll.

Ready to call myself insane

My hope was almost drowned

Except for the rescuing hand of God

Serenity would not have been found

New to the Steps, they baffled me;

A foreign language they seemed.

In time, though, they yielded a beautiful peace

Of which I’d never dreamed

True is the slogan, “One day at a time,”

Daily I choose to be free

Yours is the choice as well, my friend:

Will you choose serenity?

 

Reprinted from the Fall 2010 issue of S-Anews©.

True Colors


 March 8, 2020

I learned in school that leaves are only green because of photosynthesis. Their true colors come forth in the fall when the light is reduced and photosynthesis ceases. This image from nature is helpful in understanding my recovery in S-Anon.

When I did my Fourth Step, I found out that I often believed what other people said about me. I went along with other people’s ideas and didn’t really think for myself. As I grew in recovery, I started to learn who I was and to see my true colors. I also became able to accept other people’s colors and didn’t have to see everyone the same. This increased honesty has provided a much more interesting life than my previous existence.

It is exciting to appreciate that God has created each one of us with beauty and individuality. I want to be willing to observe and honor it.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 261.

Simple Slogans for Simple Solutions


 February 24, 2020

The slogans are spiritual tools for living. Here are a few taken from one member’s list of helpful slogans. Take what you like and leave the rest.

  • The Serenity Prayer
  • The Third Step Prayer
  • The Seventh Step Prayer
  • Keep Coming Back
  • It Works If You Work It
  • One Day At A Time
  • This Too Shall Pass
  • Listen and Learn
  • First Things First
  • Easy Does It
  • Let Go And Let God
  • Where You Are From Doesn’t Matter, It’s Where You Are Going That Is Important
  • Progress Not Perfection
  • Hold On For The Miracle
  • Think
  • Keep It Simple
  • Live And Let Live
  • Fake It Till You Make It
  • I Can’t, But We Can! I Can’t, But God Can!
  • If I Keep Doing What I’ve Always Done, I’ll Keep Getting What I’ve Always Got!
  • But For The Grace Of God Go I
  • How Important Is It?
  • Just For Today
  • Keep An Open Mind
  • HOW — Honest, Open & Willing
  • Let It Begin With Me
  • Mind Your Own Business
  • Love, Learn & Grow
  • Principles Above Personalities
  • Act As If…
  • If You Spot It, You Got It
  • If the Problem Hurts, The Solution Heals
  • Listen With New Ears
  • The Answers Are In The Steps, Traditions & Concepts; The SOLUTION Is In Working Them!

Reprinted from the Fall 2010 issue of S-Anews©.

Simple Solutions


 February 10, 2020

At one of my first meetings, “slogans” was the topic of discussion. I smugly thought, “I can’t believe they really use these cliches.” My academic values had taught me to think that life’s problems had to be solved by complex solutions from deep thinkers. But the more I came to meetings and began working the S-Anon program, the more I saw the real wisdom in the simple sayings. “Act as if…” and “Keep It Simple” are surprisingly practical and helped me through difficult, emotionally-draining situations.

Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 51.

 

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