Overcoming My Fears

As a man going to my first S-Anon meeting, I was em­barrassed, ashamed, nervous, and fearful. I thought of all kinds of reasons to be afraid. I feared the women there would consider me as the enemy. I had no experience in sharing my feelings and fears. I thought that as a man I was not supposed to be powerless over anything, and I felt ashamed to have a spouse who had acted out.  I also knew I was at the end of my rope. Physically, I had ulcers from my obsessive thinking and the constant shame and isolation I was feeling. I went to my first meeting in spite of my nervousness. I was the only man there and thought that surely some of the women there were uncomfortable with a man being in their meeting. However, once they read the Traditions, I knew I be­ longed. After hearing the sharing, there was no doubt I was one of them. (I have since met other men in the S-Anon Fellow­ship.). As time went on, I became more and more comfortable in the meetings. I was able to share openly, without fear. I was able to hear experience, strength, and hope, and apply the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in my life. I am grateful that I was in so much pain that I was willing to walk through my fears and attend the meetings. S-Anon gave me a new life.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 7.