Humility does not mean that our feelings of anger and hurt are not valid, but it helps us recognize that obsessing about them is not beneficial. When some of us came to the fellowship, we may have been filled with thoughts like, “How dare he! How dare she!” We may have been consumed with feeling superior and obsessed with what we thought they deserved. Judging people, including the sex addict and ourselves, blocks our progress. When we can accept that we do not know other people’s thoughts or motivations, we find it eases our interactions.
Humility helps us recognize our powerlessness over someone’s disease and opens up the possibility of receiving the help available in S-Anon and from a Power greater than ourselves. Accepting life on life’s terms might be a new concept, and it is one that requires humility to embrace. Learning to be grateful for what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t have requires humility as well. We eventually discover that humility and its partner, gratitude, help us to receive the gifts of the program, including recovering the feeling of joy.
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Traditions, pages 175-176.