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I was a member of S-Anon for several years before I completed my Fourth Step. I had started to work on it a number of times, but lacked the courage, the willingness and the foundation to complete it. I feared the changes I thought I would have to make if I did this Step. After I had really developed a trusting relationship with my Higher Power and I truly understood that Steps One, Two, and Three formed a solid foundation for me, my fear seemed to dissipate, and I finally felt ready to do the Fourth Step…
I asked my Higher Power to help me overcome my sense of having to do this Step perfectly. Without the help of my Higher Power, I’d still be “working on it” today! I set a date with my sponsor to give my Fifth Step while I was still writing my inventory. This supported my work, even though I did need to extend the date several times. I also scheduled time to work on my inventory. There was always something else to do — even washing the dishes could become an urgent task when my tendency toward procrastination came up!
I can see now that I completed my Fourth Step at a time when an honest look at myself was just what was needed to move ahead and grow in my program. Steps One through Three had helped me surrender my sexaholic husband. I soon realized it was important to look at my past behavior and let go of it, so that I could continue to grow in my recovery. My Higher Power led me through the process by helping me remember the people and situations I needed to recall — and by providing the help and support of other loving S-Anons to get me through the experience.
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 43-44.