I remember sitting quietly and listening as my sexaholic partner told me about S-Anon, a program that could help me. On the outside I was courteous, while on the inside I felt like I wanted to explode. I could see this was terribly important to him; however, it turned out to be vital for me as well. When he finished explaining, he handed me a piece of paper with the S-Anon contact information.
The first thing I did was to call my current sponsor from another Twelve Step program. Much to my surprise, she told me a part of her story I had never heard before. She had been married to a sexaholic years before. She was well acquainted with Twelve Step programs, so after discovering his disease, she had looked for help. S-Anon was not in existence, so, regrettably, there was no one to welcome her and show her that she was not alone in the problem.
After our phone conversation, I called the S-Anon helpline in my area. I received a call back from a local S-Anon member. She listened quietly and respectfully as I shared my feelings of fear and discomfort. She helped me to understand that I could benefit from S-Anon because of my relationship with a sexaholic. She gave me information about the meetings and suggested that I attend one near my home the following night.
I know now this was Tradition Three* in action. I am grateful that the wisdom found in Tradition Three helps me today when I take calls from people who are affected by someone’s sex addiction.
*Tradition Three states, “The relatives of sexaholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an S-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of sexaholism in a relative or friend.”
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, page 37.