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Helping out after the birth of a second grandchild is giving me a new appreciation of the value of Tradition Two. Through the gifts of the program, my style of “helping” has changed from authority to trusted servant. I participate in decisions by offering my thoughts and then letting go of the outcome. My daughter often asks my opinion, and I also offer it on my own when I think it might be of value, but I can now offer my experience as one way of doing things rather than as the only right way. I frequently comment, “This is my vote on the issue, but of course it is your decision.” I think my daughter appreciates this more considerate and less bossy attitude. I am here to serve and support, not to control and dictate. I ask my Higher Power to help me remember that and to guide my interactions. I am learning to say things like, “Is now a good time for me to give the baby his bath?” rather than, “I am going to give the baby his bath now.” I try to gently remind my daughter of her doctor’s instructions not to pick up anything heavier than the baby right now, rather than just insisting she let me carry the diaper bag. This kinder, humbler, gentler approach is more respectful to my daughter and helps to create an atmosphere of peace and harmony. I still make mistakes and slip into an authoritarian mode, but I am quicker to recognize that now and make amends. Tension can build more quickly since we are sleep-deprived, so timely amends are especially important. Having a new baby in the family is both joyous and stressful, but applying Tradition Two has lessened the stress and increased the joy. I am so grateful.
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Traditions, page 24-25.