I have heard people say that working the program is like taking a shower—no one can do it for you. So when I feel the need to “help” or try to make things turn out the way I think they should, I may be standing in the way of both my partner’s and my recovery without realizing it. I have a hard time not giving my opinion because he used to ask me time and again “What do you think?” and “What should I do?” Now I am aware that if I feel a decision he’s trying to make might affect me in some way, it is rarely possible for me to be objective. It is actually a load off my mind when I accept that no matter how much I love my husband, I cannot be certain what is best for him. In fact, I must admit that I often do not know what is best for myself!
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 46.