When I decided that I couldn’t fix our marriage and that I could only participate in it, it finally began to be a real marriage for me. When I finally stopped viewing it as a term paper or a class where, if I only did all my homework it would work, I started to understand and live the principles of the program. I’ve found that in recovery, only when I do the healthy things I have been reluctant to do, and let go of the unhealthy things that I have grasped so tightly, do I find the things that I’ve been looking for all along.
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 72.