In Step One we learn that we are powerless over sexaholism and that our lives have become unmanageable, but we are not left alone. A power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. What is this restoration to sanity we talk about?

Haven’t we acted irrationally at times trying to deal with our relationships? We tried checking up on the sexaholic all over town, using tranquilizers and liquor to calm our frazzled nerves, and obsessing over the sexaholic instead of tending to ourselves. We became hysterical. We cried, screamed, nagged, and threatened over and over again, all of which we thought was doing something about the problem.

Now we can really do something! We can trust God to do what we cannot do for ourselves. Trust is an ingredient of believing, and to believe is to actively pursue the thing hoped for.

Many of us believed at first that the only way to rise above our problems was to run away from them. We learned that a geographical move was not the answer. We have to make a spiritual move, or face the prospect of repeating our pattern of choosing unhealthy relationships. We need to face reality and learn how to accept it. We need to begin our own recovery, apart from the sexaholic’s. Physically or emotionally running away only prolongs the pain. We see that we do have a way out; we have options and choices we can make for our own lives. With every hardship we face, our Higher Power also provides an outlet. One of those ways out is to change our own attitudes with the help of our Higher Power and the S-Anon program.

Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, page 16.

 December 14, 2020

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