Eight months ago I discovered my spouse was having an affair. The initial shock and pain lasted three or four months. Just as I was beginning to have hope that this anguish was ending, I realized I was living with daily fear and dread of it happening again. Then the “What if’s” began: What if I got a divorce, how would I ever get through it? How would I survive the grief? Even though my spouse was going to SA meetings, I was now ill at ease in groups, at church, and with friends, family, or strangers.

I recognized I was powerless over this obsession and fear and that it was ruining my life. I cried out to God for relief. At an S-Anon meeting, I heard the words that the courage and strength would come if and when I needed it. It sounded so simple, but I couldn’t understand it when I was grasping and filled with fear and questioning. Gradually, it began to sink in – although I am powerless over the sexaholic and his disease, I am not alone. I can be okay no matter what happens, and I have a Higher Power that I can lean on. Peace was restored to my life.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 72.

 November 2, 2020

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