I tried to cope with the sexaholism in our home in many ways — denial, rage and emotional withdrawal were only a few. However, the S-Anon approach is the only one that truly helped me recover from sexaholism’s effects. Working the Steps of this program has given me a serenity and spiritual awakening I did not know were possible. That is why I do whatever I can to be a “trusted servant” when I carry the S-Anon message. For example, I speak up when S-Anon’s Twelve Traditions are not followed in meetings, reminding those present of our group’s commitment to the meeting sharing guidelines. Speaking up is not easy for me, but I know that to say nothing while a member or even the group itself bypasses the structure we have established to ensure unity is to passively participate in the decline of our group’s ability to carry the message that each of us affected by sexaholism seeks.
The gratitude I have for this program also leads me to carry the message by making an extra effort to welcome newcomers and to help them understand the program. Whether it is answering the phone line, leading a newcomers’ meeting or making a point to warmly greet newcomers before and after meetings, I try to remember that carrying the message is the primary purpose of our fellowship. Without the newcomer, S-Anon would eventually cease to exist. On a personal level, I know that the painful stories of the newcomer remind me of the importance of continuing to work the program in my own life.
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, page 149-150.