After I ended my relationship with my partner, I received a call from him in which he described how much pain he was in. My previous response would have been to rescue him, but while he was talking, I remembered that I am powerless to change or control him. I have learned in S-Anon that I cannot make him go to meetings or take responsibility for his sexaholic behavior. I do not have the power to alter his path. The gift S-Anon has given me is to know that I have choices. I chose to listen with love and compassion – a skill I am learning in S-Anon.

Detaching with love has given me the freedom to take better care of myself. I was able to end the phone call knowing that, in ending the relationship, I had made the right choice for me, while allowing him to experience his pain and do what he needs to take care of himself. Working the Steps has opened my life to accept others for who they are, good and bad. I can also accept myself for who I am – a very grateful recovering S-Anon.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 59.

 July 27, 2020

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