In Step One we finally accepted that we could not recover alone. But who could help us out of the emptiness created when we admitted our own powerlessness over sexaholism? At this point, some of us were tempted to fill the void with people, activities or even substances, but we found only a real Higher Power could truly help us. We were relieved to discover that Step Two suggested only that we admit that we were not the greatest power in the universe. That recognition laid the foundation for “coming to believe” — a process of becoming aware of the presence of a Higher Power in our lives.

Some of us had preconceived ideas about God that stood in our way, particularly if we had been hurt by people whose religious attitudes were controlling or punishing. Others were uneasy about the differing spiritual views of group members. However, if our old ideas about God, religion or spirituality had not worked well for us in the past, we were encouraged to begin a new relationship with the Higher Power of our own understanding. In this regard it helped some of us to recognize that we had allowed our spiritual lives to stagnate in the turmoil of trying to deal with sexaholism, so it was not surprising that our understanding of God had not kept up with our growth in other areas of our lives. The wisdom of the ages seems to agree that it is not only all right, but necessary to develop and maintain a concept of God that meets our changing understanding of ourselves and our world, as long as it is a power greater than ourselves. Through our growing trust in this Higher Power, sanity is restored in our lives, and we move toward peace, serenity, and useful lives.

Those of us who resisted the idea that we needed to be “restored to sanity” were encouraged to return to our First Step writing and remind ourselves of the many ways in which our lives had become unmanageable. Many of us even found that after weeks or months of listening to the experience of others in meetings, we became aware at a deeper level of our own powerlessness over sexaholism and the need for a Higher Power to restore us.

Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 23-24.

 December 16, 2019

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