When I was growing up I learned to do what I was told, because dire consequences followed when I didn’t. It was not O.K. for me to express my own needs and wants. As an adult, I made decisions based on fear of consequences from outside sources. When S-Anon introduced the idea that a Higher Power could restore me to sanity, I was confused – on the one hand I wanted to trust, but on the other I feared the consequences of my choices to take care of myself.

I am making progress. I am better able to know and say what I like and dislike. I have a loving family in S-Anon, and I feel sure that God loves me, no matter what choices I make. I am taking better care of my physical health and my emotional and financial well-being. I am taking better care of how I spend the money I earn and have been able to do some nice things for myself. I am clear about how I want to be treated in my relationships.

Today I don’t spend as much time on emotional roller coasters or having emotional hangovers, so I can think more clearly about the next thing I should do. I am grateful that God guides my life today through the spiritual principles of this program. My life is richer, fuller, and more peaceful because of it.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 93.

 August 26, 2019

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