Although a Man, I Heard Pieces of my Own Story

I came to S-Anon based on a clear ultimatum from my wife—make some changes now or she was leaving. Despite her recovery and sexual sobriety, and my attendance at meetings of another Twelve Step Fellowship, my life was still unmanageable. On the advice of a counselor and people in other fellowships, I started attending S-Anon meetings. I felt uncomfortable attending my first few meetings, all those women and very few, if any, men. How could I relate to them or them to me? Slowly, as I became willing to listen and not judge, I heard pieces of my own story—the need to fix, the feeling that everything was my fault, and the resentment toward the sexaholic. What really amazed me was seeing some members, still living with active addiction, who seemed to be able to find serenity when I had none.

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Newcomer’s Information Booklet.