Members Share What it was Like at Their First Meeting

We asked some people who are recovering in S-Anon to write down what they remember about their first meeting. We hope that newcomers reading these stories will be able to identify with some of the feelings and realize that almost none of us came to S-Anon brimming over with joy and gladness. At the same time, we know that each of us will respond differently, in some respects, to the same event.  As you begin your recovery in S-Anon, whatever feelings you may be having are completely acceptable and okay. Many of us believe that our first experience of unconditional love and acceptance occurred in the S-Anon fellowship.

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"I was desperate to talk to someone who would understand."
Once I learned that S-Anon existed, I knew I would attend, but my motives were mixed. Mostly I felt that I "should" go, to be the loving wife that could never be accused of not supporting her husband, an addict. But part of me knew that I needed to talk in an environment that allowed open discussion of a painful, even embarrassing disease...

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"A two ton weight was lifted from my shoulders when I was told his behavior was not my responsibility. "
It was like coming home! Several years before I found S-Anon I was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. At that time I said to my therapist, "I wish there was a group like Al-Anon for me because I feel completely alone..."

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"I see how God speaks through every one of us."
I was angry with God, and felt that God had been punishing me. I would never have believed that a group of people could be part of my Higher Power...

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"By my fifth or sixth meeting I realized that I had a problem too, and there was no turning back."
I thought all the people were crazy and I was not coming back! You see, my husband had gotten into recovery, which is what I had wanted for ten years...

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"It was a relief to hear people talk about sexual issues."
I had been in Al-Anon for two years when I found out about my husband's sexaholism. I took some positive steps toward my own recovery, but I had every excuse in the book not to attend S-Anon...

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"My recovery was really and truly a matter of life and death for me."
I hoped I would find some answers on how I could fix my husband. Even though I was suicidal, I really didn't think that I had that much of a problem...

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"It seemed that by sharing the pain with S-Anon members, it was lessened."
I went to my first meeting immediately after learning that my husband's string of affairs was an addiction to lust. I was in so much pain from the discovery of the betrayal...

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"I wondered if I would ever be able to share with the group."
I was real familiar with going into a group and blending into the woodwork. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting somebody's feelings, or making a fool of myself...

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"I came to realize that I was powerless over a lot of things."
I remember sitting there and having no idea what was happening. I didn't understand what they meant by "powerlessness" and I didn't understand how my life was unmanageable.

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